He got me again. He always does. I never see it coming. And then when it happens, I'm always... well, I don't even have a word for it. Humbled... torn apart... broken. 100 emotions at once. It's an indescribable feeling. I don't even know if I can really put into words what led up to it or why. It just happened.
The thing is, I've had all this stress lately and I do not deal well with stress. I never have. I get myself so worked up and worried over things that I can't control... and that's the operative word... control. But then God always finds away to break through all my stupidity and tell me that I never had control and I never will. Control is HIS, not mine.
He got to me through music. It almost always happens that way (except for the time He hit me with a tree branch... a story for another time.) But anyway, there I was... minding my own business, listening to music, surfing the 'net... when I started actually listening to the words. That was my undoing. I went from mindless self-indulgence to a puddle of tears in nothing flat. And then I did something that I don't do nearly enough. I prayed... right then and there and just let go of everything and let Him have it. And through the music, He told me I'm never alone and He loves me. He'll take care of everything. All I have to do is love Him and trust Him.
The thing is, I've had all this stress lately and I do not deal well with stress. I never have. I get myself so worked up and worried over things that I can't control... and that's the operative word... control. But then God always finds away to break through all my stupidity and tell me that I never had control and I never will. Control is HIS, not mine.
He got to me through music. It almost always happens that way (except for the time He hit me with a tree branch... a story for another time.) But anyway, there I was... minding my own business, listening to music, surfing the 'net... when I started actually listening to the words. That was my undoing. I went from mindless self-indulgence to a puddle of tears in nothing flat. And then I did something that I don't do nearly enough. I prayed... right then and there and just let go of everything and let Him have it. And through the music, He told me I'm never alone and He loves me. He'll take care of everything. All I have to do is love Him and trust Him.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment